WEDNESDAY
The new kid on the Wednesday-night block is Simon Cowell's singing competition The X Factor, which lands in the U.S. for the first time and will face competition from a long-running reality show, a beloved Emmy-winning comedy, and a spooky thriller from the creator of Glee. Wednesday is a night to never ever go out.
8PM - 9PM
THE CW
H8R
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/14 at 8pm
This new reality show puts celebrities face-to-face with regular people who hate them. Then they fight to the death in a steel cage match where the winner drinks the loser's blood from the loser's hollowed-out skull. But The CW will probably only air the parts where the celeb tries to win the hater over.
H8R
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/14 at 8pm
This new reality show puts celebrities face-to-face with regular people who hate them. Then they fight to the death in a steel cage match where the winner drinks the loser's blood from the loser's hollowed-out skull. But The CW will probably only air the parts where the celeb tries to win the hater over.
CBS
Survivor: South Pacific
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 23 premieres 9/14 at 8pm
Sexy contestants and old contestants compete to not die in the jungles of Samoa while a well-fed and well-rested camera crew documents all of their near-fatal experiences.
Survivor: South Pacific
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 23 premieres 9/14 at 8pm
Sexy contestants and old contestants compete to not die in the jungles of Samoa while a well-fed and well-rested camera crew documents all of their near-fatal experiences.
ABC
The Middle
Season 3 premieres 9/21 at 8pm
Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond) stars as the mother of three kids in this send-up of the Middle American suburbs. Look for a Raymond reunion this season when Ray Romano guest-stars.
The Middle
Season 3 premieres 9/21 at 8pm
Patricia Heaton (Everybody Loves Raymond) stars as the mother of three kids in this send-up of the Middle American suburbs. Look for a Raymond reunion this season when Ray Romano guest-stars.
FOX
The X Factor (Part 1)
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/21 at 8pm
Simon Cowell's new singing talent show comes to the U.S. this fall, and unlike on American Idol, kids, seniors, and groups can all compete for the title of Mr. or Ms. Not Good Enough for American Idol.
The X Factor (Part 1)
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/21 at 8pm
Simon Cowell's new singing talent show comes to the U.S. this fall, and unlike on American Idol, kids, seniors, and groups can all compete for the title of Mr. or Ms. Not Good Enough for American Idol.
ABC
Suburgatory
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/28 at 8pm
This witty new comedy follows a precocious young teen (delightful newcomer Jane Levy) whose single dad plucks her out of New York and plants in the Stepford-esque suburbs where things might be scarier than they are in the city.
Suburgatory
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/28 at 8pm
This witty new comedy follows a precocious young teen (delightful newcomer Jane Levy) whose single dad plucks her out of New York and plants in the Stepford-esque suburbs where things might be scarier than they are in the city.
9PM - 10PM
CW
America's Next Top Model
Season 17 premieres 9/14 at 9pm
Tyra Banks returns for a seventeenth season of craziness! Who will be the latest to earn the title of Top Model and follow previous winners into obscurity?
America's Next Top Model
Season 17 premieres 9/14 at 9pm
Tyra Banks returns for a seventeenth season of craziness! Who will be the latest to earn the title of Top Model and follow previous winners into obscurity?
CBS
Criminal Minds
Season 7 premieres 9/21 at 9pm
AJ Cook and Paget Brewster return for Season 7 of this rarest of rare programs: a CBS procedural that doesn't use an acronym.
Criminal Minds
Season 7 premieres 9/21 at 9pm
AJ Cook and Paget Brewster return for Season 7 of this rarest of rare programs: a CBS procedural that doesn't use an acronym.
NBC
Harry's Law
Season 2 premieres 9/21 at 9pm
Kathy Bates stars as a do-gooder lawyer in this surprise hit for NBC. Brittany Snow and Aml Ameenhave left the program, but Mark Valley and Karen Olivo are lawyering up for Season 2.
Harry's Law
Season 2 premieres 9/21 at 9pm
Kathy Bates stars as a do-gooder lawyer in this surprise hit for NBC. Brittany Snow and Aml Ameenhave left the program, but Mark Valley and Karen Olivo are lawyering up for Season 2.
ABC
Modern Family
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 3 premieres 9/21 at 9pm
Don't you want to be able to tell your children that you watched an Emmy-winning comedy that you weren't embarrassed to admit that you liked? Season 3 kicks off with the Dunphys and Pritchetts in Montana. Or Wyoming. Ahh, what's the difference, really? As long as it's not god-awful North Dakota!
Modern Family
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 3 premieres 9/21 at 9pm
Don't you want to be able to tell your children that you watched an Emmy-winning comedy that you weren't embarrassed to admit that you liked? Season 3 kicks off with the Dunphys and Pritchetts in Montana. Or Wyoming. Ahh, what's the difference, really? As long as it's not god-awful North Dakota!
ABC
Happy Endings
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 3 premieres 9/28 at 9:30pm
Last spring's Friends-inspired romantic comedy matches up nicely with Modern Family as Cougar Towntakes a break.
Happy Endings
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 3 premieres 9/28 at 9:30pm
Last spring's Friends-inspired romantic comedy matches up nicely with Modern Family as Cougar Towntakes a break.
FOX
I Hate My Teenage Daughter
NEW! Series premiere airs 11/30 at 9:30pm
Jaime Pressley and Katie Finneran star as the mothers of teen girls who act just like the lame chicks who teased them when they were in high school. Then they start hating them!
I Hate My Teenage Daughter
NEW! Series premiere airs 11/30 at 9:30pm
Jaime Pressley and Katie Finneran star as the mothers of teen girls who act just like the lame chicks who teased them when they were in high school. Then they start hating them!
10PM - 11PM
SyFy
Paranormal Witness
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/7 at 10pm
For when a spectral reverend rhetorically asks, "Can I get a witness!?!?"
Paranormal Witness
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/7 at 10pm
For when a spectral reverend rhetorically asks, "Can I get a witness!?!?"
NBC
Up All Night
**EDITORS' PICK!** NEW! Series premiere airs 9/14 at 10pm
Will Arnett, Christina Applegate, and Maya Rudolph star in this raising-a-baby comedy that critics are calling "not nearly as bad as the rest of the crap that's coming out."
Up All Night
**EDITORS' PICK!** NEW! Series premiere airs 9/14 at 10pm
Will Arnett, Christina Applegate, and Maya Rudolph star in this raising-a-baby comedy that critics are calling "not nearly as bad as the rest of the crap that's coming out."
CBS
CSI
Season 12 premieres 9/21 at 10pm
Ted Danson takes over as head honcho this season.
CSI
Season 12 premieres 9/21 at 10pm
Ted Danson takes over as head honcho this season.
NBC
Law & Order: SVU
Season 13 premieres 9/21 at 10pm
Christopher Meloni has exited the best of the Law & Order franchise, but stepping in to keep the show as handsome as possible is Danny Pino (Cold Case). Also joining the Unit is Kelli Giddish, formerly ofChase.
Law & Order: SVU
Season 13 premieres 9/21 at 10pm
Christopher Meloni has exited the best of the Law & Order franchise, but stepping in to keep the show as handsome as possible is Danny Pino (Cold Case). Also joining the Unit is Kelli Giddish, formerly ofChase.
ABC
Revenge
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/21 at 10pm
Think The Count of Monte Cristo but with female centerpieces (Emily VanKamp and Madeleine Stowe). Also, this time it's a television show and not a book or a sandwich.
Revenge
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/21 at 10pm
Think The Count of Monte Cristo but with female centerpieces (Emily VanKamp and Madeleine Stowe). Also, this time it's a television show and not a book or a sandwich.
DISCOVERY
Storm Chasers
Season 5 premieres 9/28 at 10pm
While you're hiding in your basement scared of half-an-inch of rain, these tough guys are seeking out the meteorological mayhem.
Storm Chasers
Season 5 premieres 9/28 at 10pm
While you're hiding in your basement scared of half-an-inch of rain, these tough guys are seeking out the meteorological mayhem.
FX
American Horror Story
**EDITORS' PICK!** NEW! Series premiere airs 10/5 at 10pm
This story of a couple—Dylan McDermott and Connie Britton—who move into a haunted house comes from Glee creator Ryan Murphy; it will either be really good, really bad, or, more likely, some entertaining combination of the two.
American Horror Story
**EDITORS' PICK!** NEW! Series premiere airs 10/5 at 10pm
This story of a couple—Dylan McDermott and Connie Britton—who move into a haunted house comes from Glee creator Ryan Murphy; it will either be really good, really bad, or, more likely, some entertaining combination of the two.
COMEDY CENTRAL
South Park
Season 15 returns 10/5 at 10pm
Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and the others return for the second half of Season 15. Remember the last episode? The brilliant "You're Getting Old"? That one made me cry like someone killed my pony.
South Park
Season 15 returns 10/5 at 10pm
Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and the others return for the second half of Season 15. Remember the last episode? The brilliant "You're Getting Old"? That one made me cry like someone killed my pony.
USA
Psych
Season 6 premieres 10/12 at 10pm
Shawn and Gus will continue faking psychic powers; I hope that wasn't a spoiler or anything. On tap this season: baseball, vampire, and Clue-themed episodes!
Psych
Season 6 premieres 10/12 at 10pm
Shawn and Gus will continue faking psychic powers; I hope that wasn't a spoiler or anything. On tap this season: baseball, vampire, and Clue-themed episodes!
NBC
Free Agents
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/14 at 10:30pm
This adaptation of the 2009 U.K. series of the same name stars Hank Azaria as a guy who in real life would never get the girl he actually gets on the show. No way.
Free Agents
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/14 at 10:30pm
This adaptation of the 2009 U.K. series of the same name stars Hank Azaria as a guy who in real life would never get the girl he actually gets on the show. No way.
COMEDY CENTRAL
Nick Swardson's Pretend Time
Season 2 premieres 10/5 at 10:30pm
Comedian Nick Swardson comes back for a second season of sketch comedy. Make sure your bong is packed for the ride.
Nick Swardson's Pretend Time
Season 2 premieres 10/5 at 10:30pm
Comedian Nick Swardson comes back for a second season of sketch comedy. Make sure your bong is packed for the ride.
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