TUESDAY
Tuesday nights offer up an eclectic mix of super-popular procedurals, super-popular dancing competitions, super-popular high school musicals, and super-popular weight-loss shows; new this year are the returns of Tim Allen and Sarah Michelle Gellar to TV, even though no one invited them.
8PM - 9PM
THE CW
90210
Season 4 premieres 9/13 at 8pm
You know what's so great about the fourth season of a high school drama? It becomes a college-school drama! You know what's great about writing a blurb for 90210? We don't even have to do any research to figure out what's going on. We just assume someone just got someone pregnant, that someone else almost committed suicide, and that yet someone else is struggling with their sexuality. We're right, aren't we?
90210
Season 4 premieres 9/13 at 8pm
You know what's so great about the fourth season of a high school drama? It becomes a college-school drama! You know what's great about writing a blurb for 90210? We don't even have to do any research to figure out what's going on. We just assume someone just got someone pregnant, that someone else almost committed suicide, and that yet someone else is struggling with their sexuality. We're right, aren't we?
FOX
Glee
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 3 premieres 9/20 at 8pm
Everyone's favorite Disney Channel show that's not on the Disney Channel starts its all-important third season. Like the kids on 90210, the McKinely High crew faces plenty of struggles. You know, like the harrowing decision of which Lady Gaga song to sing next.
Glee
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 3 premieres 9/20 at 8pm
Everyone's favorite Disney Channel show that's not on the Disney Channel starts its all-important third season. Like the kids on 90210, the McKinely High crew faces plenty of struggles. You know, like the harrowing decision of which Lady Gaga song to sing next.
CBS
NCIS
Season 9 premieres 9/20 at 8pm
All you need to know about NCIS is that it's insanely popular and the bad guys lose. If you don't watch it, you aren't a true American.
NCIS
Season 9 premieres 9/20 at 8pm
All you need to know about NCIS is that it's insanely popular and the bad guys lose. If you don't watch it, you aren't a true American.
NBC
The Biggest Loser
Season 12 premieres 9/20 at 8pm
Because sometimes the only way to shed pounds is through extreme public humiliation. Sexy tennis vixen Anna Kournikova joins the show this season as a trainer.
The Biggest Loser
Season 12 premieres 9/20 at 8pm
Because sometimes the only way to shed pounds is through extreme public humiliation. Sexy tennis vixen Anna Kournikova joins the show this season as a trainer.
TRAVEL CHANNEL
Made In America
Season 6 premieres 10/4 at 8pm
The network will claim this show is an in-depth look at how things work at some of America's most iconic factories, but we know it's really just a glorified infomercial for the country's biggest corporations. Why won't you show us what's behind the curtain, Kellogg's? Cheers' mailman John Ratzenberger hosts.
Made In America
Season 6 premieres 10/4 at 8pm
The network will claim this show is an in-depth look at how things work at some of America's most iconic factories, but we know it's really just a glorified infomercial for the country's biggest corporations. Why won't you show us what's behind the curtain, Kellogg's? Cheers' mailman John Ratzenberger hosts.
ABC
Last Man Standing
NEW! Series premiere airs 10/11 at 8pm
If you've suddenly woken up from a coma that started in the late '90s, then I havegood news for you!Tim Allen is still on TV and appearing on a sitcom!
Last Man Standing
NEW! Series premiere airs 10/11 at 8pm
If you've suddenly woken up from a coma that started in the late '90s, then I have
ABC
Man Up
NEW! Series premiere airs 10/18 at 8:30pm
Try not to get this one confused with Last Man Standing. That show is about one man who's trying to recapture his masculinity, this show about more than one man who's trying to recapture his masculinity.
Man Up
NEW! Series premiere airs 10/18 at 8:30pm
Try not to get this one confused with Last Man Standing. That show is about one man who's trying to recapture his masculinity, this show about more than one man who's trying to recapture his masculinity.
9PM - 10PM
THE CW
Ringer
NEW! **EDITORS' PICK!** Series premiere airs 9/13 at 9pm
If you like twists and turns that are so twisty and turny they sometimes make you fall off your sofa, you'll love Ringer, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar as a pair of twins in trouble. You'll need to lay out a cushion-y pillow raft at the base of your couch for this one.
Ringer
NEW! **EDITORS' PICK!** Series premiere airs 9/13 at 9pm
If you like twists and turns that are so twisty and turny they sometimes make you fall off your sofa, you'll love Ringer, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar as a pair of twins in trouble. You'll need to lay out a cushion-y pillow raft at the base of your couch for this one.
ABC
Dancing with the Stars: The Results Show
Season 13 premiere continues 9/20 at 9pm
You watched them perform. Now watch them receive their verdicts!
Dancing with the Stars: The Results Show
Season 13 premiere continues 9/20 at 9pm
You watched them perform. Now watch them receive their verdicts!
CBS
NCIS: Los Angeles
Season 3 premieres 9/20 at 9pm
This spin-off featuring LL Cool J isn't as popular as original flavor NCIS. I'm calling East Coast bias.
NCIS: Los Angeles
Season 3 premieres 9/20 at 9pm
This spin-off featuring LL Cool J isn't as popular as original flavor NCIS. I'm calling East Coast bias.
FOX
New Girl
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/20 at 9pm
One day we will speak of Zooey Deschanel in the same way the myths speak of Helen of Troy. Until then, watch her act so adorably quirky it's annoying in this new romantic comedy.
New Girl
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/20 at 9pm
One day we will speak of Zooey Deschanel in the same way the myths speak of Helen of Troy. Until then, watch her act so adorably quirky it's annoying in this new romantic comedy.
FOX
Raising Hope
Season 2 premieres 9/20 at 9:30pm
Greg Garcia's show about a poor family raising a kid together turns two.
Raising Hope
Season 2 premieres 9/20 at 9:30pm
Greg Garcia's show about a poor family raising a kid together turns two.
10PM - 11PM
FX
Sons of Anarchy
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 4 premieres 9/6 at 10pm
The fourth season of this fantastic biker drama sees the dudes partnering up with a Mexican drug cartel, which causes some strife within the gang. If you don't watch this show, I'll beat you up.
Sons of Anarchy
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 4 premieres 9/6 at 10pm
The fourth season of this fantastic biker drama sees the dudes partnering up with a Mexican drug cartel, which causes some strife within the gang. If you don't watch this show, I'll beat you up.
BRAVO
The Rachel Zoe Project
Season 4 premieres 9/6 at 10pm
Rachel Zoe works on various projects and says "OMG!" a lot.
The Rachel Zoe Project
Season 4 premieres 9/6 at 10pm
Rachel Zoe works on various projects and says "OMG!" a lot.
NBC
Parenthood
Season 3 premieres 9/13 at 10pm
This touching look at family life offers a great alternative to your own boring, over-it family.
Parenthood
Season 3 premieres 9/13 at 10pm
This touching look at family life offers a great alternative to your own boring, over-it family.
ABC
Body of Proof
Season 2 premieres 9/20 at 10pm
Dana Delaney plays a former cranky neurosurgeon who becomes a cranky medical examiner. What, JUST being a neurosurgeon wasn't enough? Sheesh, ABC.
Body of Proof
Season 2 premieres 9/20 at 10pm
Dana Delaney plays a former cranky neurosurgeon who becomes a cranky medical examiner. What, JUST being a neurosurgeon wasn't enough? Sheesh, ABC.
CBS
Unforgettable
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/20 at 10pm
Poppy Montgomery stars as a former detective with a special talent: She's smokin' hot. Like, really, really, really knee-buckling hot. If she were a planet she's be the sun—which isn't even a planet, but Mercury simply isn't hot enough. Oh, and she can also remember anything that's ever happened to her (except for her sister's murder). But really the takeaway here is that she's hot.
Unforgettable
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/20 at 10pm
Poppy Montgomery stars as a former detective with a special talent: She's smokin' hot. Like, really, really, really knee-buckling hot. If she were a planet she's be the sun—which isn't even a planet, but Mercury simply isn't hot enough. Oh, and she can also remember anything that's ever happened to her (except for her sister's murder). But really the takeaway here is that she's hot.
COMEDY CENTRAL
Tosh.0
Season 4 premieres 9/20 at 10pm
Comedian Daniel Tosh uses his show about funny and gross internet videos as an excuse to be naked all the time.
Tosh.0
Season 4 premieres 9/20 at 10pm
Comedian Daniel Tosh uses his show about funny and gross internet videos as an excuse to be naked all the time.
BRAVO
Mad Fashion
NEW! Series premiere airs 10/4 at 10pm
Project Runway's outrageous Chris March stars in this new reality series about a fashion designer who creates outrageous outfits for outrageous clients.
Mad Fashion
NEW! Series premiere airs 10/4 at 10pm
Project Runway's outrageous Chris March stars in this new reality series about a fashion designer who creates outrageous outfits for outrageous clients.
TRAVEL CHANNEL
Off Limits
Season 2 premieres 10/4 at 10pm
This show about uncovering the truths of old buildings and landmarks is hosted by Don Wildman. Seriously, his last name is Wildman—it was either renegade explorer, champion beer drinker, or MMA fighter for him.
Off Limits
Season 2 premieres 10/4 at 10pm
This show about uncovering the truths of old buildings and landmarks is hosted by Don Wildman. Seriously, his last name is Wildman—it was either renegade explorer, champion beer drinker, or MMA fighter for him.
IFC
Onion News Network
Season 2 premieres 10/4 at 10pm
Sample headline: "Onion News Network Lands First Interview With Beyonce's Baby... Network To Air Exclusive Pre-Natal Interview With Singer's Fetus."
Onion News Network
Season 2 premieres 10/4 at 10pm
Sample headline: "Onion News Network Lands First Interview With Beyonce's Baby... Network To Air Exclusive Pre-Natal Interview With Singer's Fetus."
COMEDY CENTRAL
Workaholics
Season 2 premieres 9/20 at 10:30pm
Thirty minutes' worth of jokes about pot, penises, and beer.
Workaholics
Season 2 premieres 9/20 at 10:30pm
Thirty minutes' worth of jokes about pot, penises, and beer.
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