THURSDAY
So much stuff! Your DVR will be thanking Father Time when Friday rolls around, because Thursday is going to make it sore. The night is especially strong in the comedy arena with NBC's laughing block plus CBS's The Big Bang Theory, and FX's Archer and It's Always Sunny... comedy. Just remember to save a few of those laughs in a bottle to re-open on Tuesday. Tuesdays are the worst!
8PM - 9PM
THE CW
The Vampire Diaries
Season 3 premieres 9/15 at 8pm
Ian Somerhalder takes his shirt off all vampire-like in this supernatural drama that's set in a town with a really relaxed attitude toward frequent murder. Then our own Price Peterson gives you the play-by-play with weekly photographic recaps.
The Vampire Diaries
Season 3 premieres 9/15 at 8pm
Ian Somerhalder takes his shirt off all vampire-like in this supernatural drama that's set in a town with a really relaxed attitude toward frequent murder. Then our own Price Peterson gives you the play-by-play with weekly photographic recaps.
ABC
Charlie's Angels
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/22 at 8pm
Minka Kelly stars in this re-imagining of the classic '60s series about female superspies who must be at least nines or tens to enlist. But preferably tens. After all, it IS a matter of national security.
Charlie's Angels
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/22 at 8pm
Minka Kelly stars in this re-imagining of the classic '60s series about female superspies who must be at least nines or tens to enlist. But preferably tens. After all, it IS a matter of national security.
NBC
Community
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 3 premieres 9/22 at 8pm
Community is FUNNY. That's our professional opinion.
Community
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 3 premieres 9/22 at 8pm
Community is FUNNY. That's our professional opinion.
CBS
The Big Bang Theory
Season 5 premieres 9/22 at 8pm
After four seasons and as many notches in Leonard and Raj's bedposts, it's time for one of us to finally speak the truth: Penny has questionable judgment in men.
The Big Bang Theory
Season 5 premieres 9/22 at 8pm
After four seasons and as many notches in Leonard and Raj's bedposts, it's time for one of us to finally speak the truth: Penny has questionable judgment in men.
FOX
The X Factor (Part 2)
NEW! Series premiere continues 9/22 at 8pm
You watched last night's first part, so you may as well watch this second part. No one likes a quitter.
The X Factor (Part 2)
NEW! Series premiere continues 9/22 at 8pm
You watched last night's first part, so you may as well watch this second part. No one likes a quitter.
NBC
Parks and Recreation
Season 4 premieres 9/22 at 8:30pm
That cute, hip chick at the coffee shop likes Parks and Recreation, but her boyfriend thinks it's just a rip-off of The Office. Now's your chance.
Parks and Recreation
Season 4 premieres 9/22 at 8:30pm
That cute, hip chick at the coffee shop likes Parks and Recreation, but her boyfriend thinks it's just a rip-off of The Office. Now's your chance.
CBS
How to be a Gentleman
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/29 at 8:30pm
David Hornsby (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) created and stars in this comedy about a preppy wimp who learns how to be a real man from his new friend (Kevin Dillon). Like mom always said, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." This show isn't that good. And yes, that was being nice.
How to be a Gentleman
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/29 at 8:30pm
David Hornsby (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) created and stars in this comedy about a preppy wimp who learns how to be a real man from his new friend (Kevin Dillon). Like mom always said, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." This show isn't that good. And yes, that was being nice.
9PM - 10PM
THE CW
The Secret Circle
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/15 at 9pm
What happens when a young teen moves to a new town and discovers she's one of a long line of witches? Dollar signs flash in CW execs' eyes! Cha-ching!
The Secret Circle
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/15 at 9pm
What happens when a young teen moves to a new town and discovers she's one of a long line of witches? Dollar signs flash in CW execs' eyes! Cha-ching!
ABC
Grey's Anatomy
Season 8 premieres 9/22 at 9pm
Yep, this one's still got a heartbeat. Season 8 opens with Meredith in danger of losing her job.
Grey's Anatomy
Season 8 premieres 9/22 at 9pm
Yep, this one's still got a heartbeat. Season 8 opens with Meredith in danger of losing her job.
CBS
Person of Interest
**EDITORS' PICK!** NEW! Series premiere airs 9/22 at 9pm
A rich guy creates a computer program that can help identify people who will be involved in a future crimes, and hires an ex-CIA agent to help him stop said crimes. Seriously, that's the plot. And it actually sounds kind of good.
Person of Interest
**EDITORS' PICK!** NEW! Series premiere airs 9/22 at 9pm
A rich guy creates a computer program that can help identify people who will be involved in a future crimes, and hires an ex-CIA agent to help him stop said crimes. Seriously, that's the plot. And it actually sounds kind of good.
NBC
The Office
Season 8 premieres 9/22 at 9pm
James Spader is the new honcho at Dunder-Mifflin, but we're still waiting to find out who will be named Regional Manager of the Scranton branch. Miss u already, Steve Carell!
The Office
Season 8 premieres 9/22 at 9pm
James Spader is the new honcho at Dunder-Mifflin, but we're still waiting to find out who will be named Regional Manager of the Scranton branch. Miss u already, Steve Carell!
FOX
Bones
Season 7 premieres 11/3 at 9pm
Will they or won't they? Oh wait, they did? When? Last season? Why are we still watching this show?
Bones
Season 7 premieres 11/3 at 9pm
Will they or won't they? Oh wait, they did? When? Last season? Why are we still watching this show?
NBC
Whitney
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/22 at 9:30pm
Comedian Whitney Cummings stars in this romantic comedy that will be canceled by Episode 3.
Whitney
NEW! Series premiere airs 9/22 at 9:30pm
Comedian Whitney Cummings stars in this romantic comedy that will be canceled by Episode 3.
10PM - 11PM
FX
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 7 premieres 9/15 at 10pm
Rob McElhenney (Mac) has gained 50 pounds since last season, just to make you laugh. And you know what? It's going to work.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 7 premieres 9/15 at 10pm
Rob McElhenney (Mac) has gained 50 pounds since last season, just to make you laugh. And you know what? It's going to work.
NBC
Prime Suspect
**EDITORS' PICK!** NEW! Series premiere airs 9/22 at 10pm
In this remake of the cherished U.K. show, Maria Bello plays a strong-willed female detective in New York who must earn the respect of her male coworkers. And nothing commands respect like an outrageous hat.
Prime Suspect
**EDITORS' PICK!** NEW! Series premiere airs 9/22 at 10pm
In this remake of the cherished U.K. show, Maria Bello plays a strong-willed female detective in New York who must earn the respect of her male coworkers. And nothing commands respect like an outrageous hat.
CBS
The Mentalist
Season 4 premieres 9/22 at 10pm
Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) is a man with keen observation skills, so of course he knows how handsome he is.
The Mentalist
Season 4 premieres 9/22 at 10pm
Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) is a man with keen observation skills, so of course he knows how handsome he is.
ABC
Private Practice
Season 5 premieres 9/29 at 10pm
Entering its fifth season of making Grey's Anatomy look better than it actually is.
Private Practice
Season 5 premieres 9/29 at 10pm
Entering its fifth season of making Grey's Anatomy look better than it actually is.
FX
Archer
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 3 premieres 9/15 at 10:30pm
How many international hotties will Archer bang this season? Not as many as you, you devil! (Note that like you/Archer, this listing is a bit of a tease; the show is only airing three new episodes before going back on hiatus until early 2012.)
Archer
**EDITORS' PICK!** Season 3 premieres 9/15 at 10:30pm
How many international hotties will Archer bang this season? Not as many as you, you devil! (Note that like you/Archer, this listing is a bit of a tease; the show is only airing three new episodes before going back on hiatus until early 2012.)
FX
The League
Season 3 premieres 10/6 at 10:30pm
But I was really wondering what the show would have done if there was a NFL lockout! Could these guys make a fantasy basketball version, please?
The League
Season 3 premieres 10/6 at 10:30pm
But I was really wondering what the show would have done if there was a NFL lockout! Could these guys make a fantasy basketball version, please?
MTV
Good Vibes
NEW! Series premiere airs 10/27 at 10:30pm
This animated show features two bros surfing, picking up ladies, and partyin'.
Good Vibes
NEW! Series premiere airs 10/27 at 10:30pm
This animated show features two bros surfing, picking up ladies, and partyin'.
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